Sex and Promises: The Seventh Commandment in a Culture of Broken Vows

“You shall not commit adultery.” — Exodus 20:14

Few topics cut closer to the heart than this one. Adultery is one of the most painful, destructive sins — and yet one of the most common in our time. Behind broken vows are broken homes, broken hearts, and a culture that no longer knows what marriage really is.

But before we dive into the pain, we must remember that God’s commands are good. His Word wounds so it can heal. Jesus said of Himself, “A bruised reed He will not break.” Even as we face the hard truth of this commandment, there is compassion and grace in Christ for those who have failed or been wounded by others’ failure.

Marriage Is Real — and Sacred

The command “You shall not commit adultery” assumes something profound: marriage is real. Just as you can’t forbid counterfeit money without the existence of real currency, you can’t forbid adultery without the existence of true marriage.

Marriage is not just a piece of paper, not a social construct, not a tax benefit. It’s a covenantal union — a joining together of two people into one new reality. As Jesus said, “What God has joined together, let no man separate.”

That means adultery is not merely sexual misconduct. It’s covenant-breaking — a violation of sacred vows before God.

Why God Protects Marriage

God takes one of His Ten Commandments and uses it to build a wall around marriage. He protects what is powerful, valuable, and dangerous. Like fire, sex is beautiful in its proper place — the hearth of marriage — but destructive everywhere else.

Marriage is not only valuable; it’s strategic. It is the foundation of family and the building block of society. Healthy marriages produce stable homes, where children learn love, faith, and identity. When marriage breaks, everything built on it cracks too.

Studies confirm what Scripture has always said: children raised by their married biological parents are far less likely to live in poverty, struggle with mental illness, or fall into crime. God’s design is not arbitrary — it’s for our flourishing.

How Our Culture Attacks Marriage

Today, the attack on marriage begins with separation — pulling “sex” and “marriage” apart as though they’re unrelated. We talk about sex as if it’s just an appetite, something driven by biology and desire. “Consent” has become the new king — the only moral rule.

But consent and covenant are not the same thing. Consent is temporary; covenant is eternal. Consent says, “I’ll stay as long as I want.” Covenant says, “I’ll stay even when I don’t feel like it.”

When sex is detached from covenant promises, it loses its meaning. It becomes both trivial and ultimate — meaningless on one hand (“we’re just animals”) and identity-defining on the other (“this is who I am”). No wonder our society is so confused.

And when marriage itself is devalued — treated as outdated or optional — we remove the levees that once held back the flood of destruction. “No-fault” divorce, entertainment that mocks marriage, and the idolization of personal freedom all contribute to a culture drowning in broken promises.

The Wreckage of Broken Vows

Adultery is acid. It dissolves trust, melts love, and leaves only bitterness and shame. Sit with someone who has lived through it — the sobbing spouse, the hollow eyes of children who no longer know which home is “theirs.” The pain lingers for decades.

And the effects ripple outward. Fatherlessness, abuse, addiction, and poverty all rise where marriage collapses. Even churches have been scarred by the same sin — pastors falling, congregations splitting, testimonies tainted.

The most successful divorce lawyer in America recently admitted that in thousands of cases, not one lacked infidelity. Every story of marital collapse carried that common thread: unfaithfulness.

The Goodness of Marriage

If adultery is acid, marriage is wine — rich, joyful, and deeply good.

Picture a grandfather by the fireplace, surrounded by generations of family, laughter filling the room. That warmth, stability, and love trace back to a covenant made decades before — promises kept through seasons of joy and trial.

A single faithful marriage can shape hundreds of lives over generations. That is the power of covenantal love — it multiplies goodness through time.

And that’s why God guards it so fiercely.

The Gospel and Grace

The good news of the gospel speaks directly to this commandment. Sin brings fear, shame, and guilt — but Christ meets each one.

• Fear: He takes our judgment upon Himself.

• Shame: He clothes us with His righteousness.

• Guilt: He cleanses us by His blood.

  
  

He is the faithful Husband who never leaves His bride, even when we are unfaithful. In Him there is restoration — even for those who have committed adultery. I’ve seen couples reunited by grace, made new by repentance and forgiveness. That’s the power of the gospel.

Faithfulness in Practice

The Seventh Commandment isn’t just about avoiding disaster — it’s about cultivating delight.

• Praise marriage. Speak well of it. Let your kids hear you bless what God blesses.

• Enjoy your spouse. Invest in joy, intimacy, and companionship. Work at it.

• Hate adultery. Don’t treat it lightly. Recognize its destructive power.

• Stay faithful. When marriage feels hard, remember your vows and hold fast.

• Be wise. Guard your heart and your habits. In a world of digital temptation, even “innocent” messages can become gateways to ruin.

Church attendance, community, and accountability help — but religion alone cannot protect you. Only Christ can. He is the refuge for sinners and the model of perfect faithfulness.

Conclusion

Marriage and sex were never meant to be separated. God designed them as one powerful union — a reflection of His covenant with His people. The world tears them apart, but the gospel brings them back together in Christ.

So hear again the goodness in the command:

“You shall not commit adultery.”

It is not a word of restriction, but of protection — a wall around something precious, built by a God who loves us enough to guard what is most sacred.